Tuesday, February 14, 2006

An Algorithmic Solution to Valentine's Day

I have come to deeply resent Valentine's Day.

I don't need Hallmark to tell my wife I love her. (BTW: I Love You!)

And when I were a lad (uh-oh, here we go again), Valentine's Day was for adult romantic love, either affirmation of established relationships, or, more frequently, "anonymous secret admirer" approaches.
At least one couple of my acquaintance hooked up when she guessed who he was; and at least one hooked up when he incorrectly guessed who she was, but ended up with the "wrong" girl anyway. And lived happily ever after.

Fortunately, there are official decoder sites on the web to explain the commercial code o'love. you know:

red: for love
pink: for appreciation
yellow: friendship
chocolate for passion etc

It gets very complicated.

But, for the young gentleman in line next to me: for "I kinda like you as a friend, and do want to sleep with you, but don't actually love you, its kinda complicated, not ready for a commitment" - you want peach rose, with yellow tipped pink inner petals and a black center, and throw in a box of assorted chocolates, heavy on fruit cremes and caramels.

You're welcome.


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